It's approaching that time of year again, where there is a colossal amount of love in the air. But what if you absolutely dread valentine’s day?

I remember the times when I was single and I would literally try and avoid February. Even when trying to buy a birthday card, I was met with a sea of romance, hearts, and love in the shops. The shelves were filled with more love than I was!

I did want to be in a loving relationship but I was also worried about committing to somebody full time, and once that thought took hold I always ended with," Nah I’m loving this single life". But there was always this constant battle going on about how I was going to fill this strange emptiness within me.

I was doing a lot of travelling and exploring, and I wanted to share these moments with someone. I realised that I had a lot of clutter around my heart that had to be investigated first before I could even think of sharing my life with someone.

I knew I could not love another until I began to see the value, love and worth within me. As with any self-development, the clue is in the name. SELF. It all starts with yourSELF. So, this is where I started.

I had to learn how to F.L.Y

First Love Yourself.

It was ironic really because at this time I was working as cabin crew, so I was actually flying! But that was merely my physical body. There was much inner work to be done before I could fully spread my wings.

Now when I speak of loving your SELF first, is not in any way a selfish act. It is developing a deeper understanding of your uniqueness.

Sometimes we can move away from who we really are, especially if we try to fill our own cup of love with the need to be needed, people-pleasing or overindulging ourselves with food, shopping or work.

When you start to listen and work with your SELF, you gain the awareness of what your cup really desires. You start to understand your attachment to things that can never truly satisfy you and recognise your triggers and patterns.

Many a time I have demonstrated how to fit an oxygen mask in time for the announcement “ensure your own mask is fitted before helping anyone else”

This does ring true in our personal lives. If we are feeling restricted, panicked, fearful, and certain challenges are suffocating our life force. We must fit our own mask first.

Your SELF needs you.